I have decided to blog everyday during 2010. No matter what happens. I want to document my life, even if it's not important. The small boring things may be the fun things looking back on it.
Due to the fact that I may or may not have Huntington disease, I have officially declared to myself to appreciate and live every day as it is my last. Fighting isn't worth it and worrying about it isn't either. I just want to appreciate my life and luck and everything that comes at me.
Today I'm shooting a music video. Tomorrow is homework and who knows whatelse.
I just gotta keep moving and lovin.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
blogs, downloading and stuff
The world of blogs is pretty crazy. Everyone strives to have some neat awesome music blog or art blog. I think its funny but very informative.
And dont forget you can find all kinds of records from blogs.
Who needs records? hahaha
I think im gonna start a funny artsy blog.
Lets see where this one goes.
And dont forget you can find all kinds of records from blogs.
Who needs records? hahaha
I think im gonna start a funny artsy blog.
Lets see where this one goes.
Monday, August 31, 2009
why me, why us...
I dont want pity. But i have to say... why is this happening to me? Why to my sister and i who have surpassed the depression of having the most terrible living situations to being successful and now we find this out?
In twenty years from now, i could not be the same. Im stricken with the 50 percent chance that my brain has to many chromosomes and that it will one day take away rhythym and movement from my body. That one day if i am lucky to not have it, i may still have to watch my sister loose her abilities. Or that one day we may both be in need of assistance because we have lost our abilities to think striaght.
Huntingtons Disease will claim more than haf my uncles and my mother. It may take its toll on lynne and i and even worse, more of my family.
We have just been through so much... My life has always been a hurdle, im tired of jumping. I thought i got through it all and now i am faced with another worry, another life changing event that i cannot control.
Lynne and I have pushed through, beating the odds... and now this?
I dont want pity, i dont want sadness. I just want to be okay. I just want Lynne to be okay.
Getting tested is an option to figure it all out. but than it opens another can of worms. You now have to face it if you are going to die from this disease or live and die some other way. 30,000 people in the US have this and more each year. There is hope for a cure but nothing as of yet.
Do we wait? Do we test?
Can i live and be successful with the results?
So many things to think about. I cant believe i am posting this on blogspot but i have to speak up, i have to figure things out and writing has kept me strong throughout the years.
To anyone who reads this- i hope you can appreciate how great being alive and healty is. Please do. Being alive is something i have loved everyday of my entire life. I feel like i am alone with the love, but maybe i am not.
In twenty years from now, i could not be the same. Im stricken with the 50 percent chance that my brain has to many chromosomes and that it will one day take away rhythym and movement from my body. That one day if i am lucky to not have it, i may still have to watch my sister loose her abilities. Or that one day we may both be in need of assistance because we have lost our abilities to think striaght.
Huntingtons Disease will claim more than haf my uncles and my mother. It may take its toll on lynne and i and even worse, more of my family.
We have just been through so much... My life has always been a hurdle, im tired of jumping. I thought i got through it all and now i am faced with another worry, another life changing event that i cannot control.
Lynne and I have pushed through, beating the odds... and now this?
I dont want pity, i dont want sadness. I just want to be okay. I just want Lynne to be okay.
Getting tested is an option to figure it all out. but than it opens another can of worms. You now have to face it if you are going to die from this disease or live and die some other way. 30,000 people in the US have this and more each year. There is hope for a cure but nothing as of yet.
Do we wait? Do we test?
Can i live and be successful with the results?
So many things to think about. I cant believe i am posting this on blogspot but i have to speak up, i have to figure things out and writing has kept me strong throughout the years.
To anyone who reads this- i hope you can appreciate how great being alive and healty is. Please do. Being alive is something i have loved everyday of my entire life. I feel like i am alone with the love, but maybe i am not.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
computer died
my computer has basically died.
until i get a laptop- this blog is dead.
dont worry, it should be up and running again soon!
Love
Bernice
until i get a laptop- this blog is dead.
dont worry, it should be up and running again soon!
Love
Bernice
Sunday, July 5, 2009
birthday time.
birthday is coming up.
cant say if i am happy, excited or sad...
i get sad about getting older, but i am happy to be alive and as always, its exciting to celebrate life in general... so yeah.
23 here we come!
cant say if i am happy, excited or sad...
i get sad about getting older, but i am happy to be alive and as always, its exciting to celebrate life in general... so yeah.
23 here we come!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
work busy sleep love work busy busy.
super busy time. super sunny time. super love time. super music time.
I feel like there is not enough time in the day even though i dont have school going on or anything.
For those who may not know, i am project managing the biggest energy saving project in WNY under the NYSERDA program for my company- Horizon Realty.
This involves major funding and team work to ensure the work is done properly and overall will make 15 buildings around the city of Buffalo energy star rated.
This is my on a Spray foam roof deck @ the Elk Terminal - saves so much energy, its ridiculous.
Im doing my part.
I hope people dont forget that when i seem to tired to go out or i forget that something is going on. I want to go crazy this summer but i cant because i forsee this being an experience i cannot pass up.
work over summer? YES.
AND
there is my summer love, cant forget about him. Best boyfriend yet and i want to keep him around for a while.
Than there are my friends. Whom get the shaft in all this. im sorry. but i promise i love you and i want to hang out. in fact, lets hang out. just call me. perhaps a big friends night of food and wine, eating spaghetti?????
Busy summer, work, friends, love, music. hopefully EP dropping... birthdays...apartment make over... small getaways... so much happening. there isnt enough time in the day.
I feel like there is not enough time in the day even though i dont have school going on or anything.
For those who may not know, i am project managing the biggest energy saving project in WNY under the NYSERDA program for my company- Horizon Realty.
This involves major funding and team work to ensure the work is done properly and overall will make 15 buildings around the city of Buffalo energy star rated.
This is my on a Spray foam roof deck @ the Elk Terminal - saves so much energy, its ridiculous.
Im doing my part.
I hope people dont forget that when i seem to tired to go out or i forget that something is going on. I want to go crazy this summer but i cant because i forsee this being an experience i cannot pass up.
work over summer? YES.
AND
there is my summer love, cant forget about him. Best boyfriend yet and i want to keep him around for a while.
Than there are my friends. Whom get the shaft in all this. im sorry. but i promise i love you and i want to hang out. in fact, lets hang out. just call me. perhaps a big friends night of food and wine, eating spaghetti?????
Busy summer, work, friends, love, music. hopefully EP dropping... birthdays...apartment make over... small getaways... so much happening. there isnt enough time in the day.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
goals for the summa time!
1.New album out- "THE STORY OF LOVE ep" ====>look out for it
2.see a porcupine, beaver, owl and maybe a moose. im okay with not seeing the moose.
3.one successful camping trip, hopefully not letting my fear of bears stop me.
4.a trip to fantasy island
5.kite flyin
6.Niagara falls trip by bicycle
7.HAPPILY turning 23 and NOT crying about getting older.
8.make a music video for one of my songs
9.darien lake trip = riding every roller coaster, dippin dots and lazer light show
10.go on a boat, possibly tubing however my body cannot handle water below 90 degrees.. so maybe not.
11.I want to go to Montreal for a weekend.
12.lots of days by the water, book in hand.
13.miniature gulf with loads of friends.
14. Do all things buffalo - Shakespeare in the park, Allen town art fest, infringement, taste, thursday at the square, harbor lovin, go to the top of city hall, lay around Delaware park as often as possible with as many friends as possible etc... etc...etc...
Im sure there are more which i will add as they come. Lists are good because they push me to get things done. I dont want to be lazy this summer, i want to take it all in.
2.see a porcupine, beaver, owl and maybe a moose. im okay with not seeing the moose.
3.one successful camping trip, hopefully not letting my fear of bears stop me.
4.a trip to fantasy island
5.kite flyin
6.Niagara falls trip by bicycle
7.HAPPILY turning 23 and NOT crying about getting older.
8.make a music video for one of my songs
9.darien lake trip = riding every roller coaster, dippin dots and lazer light show
10.go on a boat, possibly tubing however my body cannot handle water below 90 degrees.. so maybe not.
11.I want to go to Montreal for a weekend.
12.lots of days by the water, book in hand.
13.miniature gulf with loads of friends.
14. Do all things buffalo - Shakespeare in the park, Allen town art fest, infringement, taste, thursday at the square, harbor lovin, go to the top of city hall, lay around Delaware park as often as possible with as many friends as possible etc... etc...etc...
Im sure there are more which i will add as they come. Lists are good because they push me to get things done. I dont want to be lazy this summer, i want to take it all in.
bbq, beaver watching, laying in the park, buffalovin, mbv, coachella 2009 
Saturday, April 11, 2009
In one week!!!!
this will be my 4th coachella festival.line up is good at best however, nothing compares to 3 sweaty days of music, laughter, frozen lemonaids and sun in your face.
Its the best feeling ever and its the one i miss the most since moving to Buffalo from California.
I leave wednesday. my arrival is welcomed and celebrated by many many friends i left behind in the valley.
i just cant wait.
Here are past pictures of coachella. just for the memories....
moped time
i am now a proud owner of a 1977 Puch Maxi.now i just have to clean the tank, register it and put some gas in it and we are good to go.
May 1st is the date it goes live.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Finally the sun came out!
Here is my face. I am so happy the sun finally came out.
Buffalo, NY - 1st day of sunny warm weather.
This is Harold, i got him for christmas and the hot heat of my apartment was ruining him, so we took him to Joes cabin where he will get constant sunlight, cool weather and fresh rain water.
This is Joe embracing the warm weather and sun.
We like each other.
Perfect weekend, just what i needed. It is gonna take a while for summer to get here but at least we had the weekend to give us hope.
Buffalo, NY - 1st day of sunny warm weather.
This is Harold, i got him for christmas and the hot heat of my apartment was ruining him, so we took him to Joes cabin where he will get constant sunlight, cool weather and fresh rain water.
This is Joe embracing the warm weather and sun.
We like each other.Perfect weekend, just what i needed. It is gonna take a while for summer to get here but at least we had the weekend to give us hope.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Moped!
I am currently buying this:
Awesome right?!?!!?
I cant wait until i will be ridin around buffalo on this. so much fun and so cute!
march comes in like a lion
I hope it warms up. i am eager for these days, where you sweat so bad you dont really want to move and it feels soooooooooo nice.
Until those days come, lets reflect on the last week or so since my last post.
These are from Albany, NY - my sisters 21st birthday. Its weird when your little sister is older and can party hard with you legally. We had the best time and i love her more than anything.
Stay tuned for more pictures from this weekend tomorrow. i have to scan them. haha.
Until those days come, lets reflect on the last week or so since my last post.These are from Albany, NY - my sisters 21st birthday. Its weird when your little sister is older and can party hard with you legally. We had the best time and i love her more than anything.
Stay tuned for more pictures from this weekend tomorrow. i have to scan them. haha.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Eager
I am so eager to get away.
I have nothing to complain about in my life but i am not happy. Weird?
I am becoming restless.
I need a pick me up.
The sun needs to come out soon, i need a moped and a good vacation.
Hopefully i get out of this funk soon or else.
<3
Bernice
I have nothing to complain about in my life but i am not happy. Weird?
I am becoming restless.
I need a pick me up.
The sun needs to come out soon, i need a moped and a good vacation.
Hopefully i get out of this funk soon or else.
<3
Bernice
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
best valentines day ever
How one may hate valentines day, i may never know...
i realized that it is best spent with friends because there is less pressure with the whole "love" thing.
Now, i did have a valentine, he bought me flowers and took me to the aquarium and it was overall one of the best valentines day i have ever had. But not just because of him, but because i spent it with amazing friends and family and people all around me who just want to have fun.
::::::Best Valentines day ever::::::
Monday, February 9, 2009
i love my cats!
Deacon and Conrad.
Conrad is the one with the small weird tail, Deacon looks like a keyboard.
Both are equally
awesome.
The Mom and Dad Parade
Even though we don't get along anymore... i really hope we will one day be able to make music and play shows again. I had some kid talk to me this weekend for like 40 minutes about how sad he was that we aren't in a band anymore...
and i agreed with him!
I mean, how fun is this picture? ======>>>>>
www.myspace.com/themomanddadparade
nothing to complain about::::
I think its kinda neat that right now, i have nothing at all in my life to complain about.
Everything seems to be working out okay and i feel happier than ever.
living life on my own for me.
It is going to be a busy few months for me... but thats totally okay.
as long as i have good friends, fam, work, school and fun... i will be fine.
But, I really want tulips for valentines day. If i dont get those, i may be upset. ahaha.
Courtney took this picture of me this weekend, it was totally unintentional. I just was this happy. No alcohol made this happen. It made me realize that this is one of
the first pictures i took this year that was taken when i am truly smiling...
Everything seems to be working out okay and i feel happier than ever.
living life on my own for me.
It is going to be a busy few months for me... but thats totally okay.
as long as i have good friends, fam, work, school and fun... i will be fine.
But, I really want tulips for valentines day. If i dont get those, i may be upset. ahaha.
Courtney took this picture of me this weekend, it was totally unintentional. I just was this happy. No alcohol made this happen. It made me realize that this is one of
the first pictures i took this year that was taken when i am truly smiling...
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
musical explosion!
Over the last week or so i have been really intrigued by this new machine i got- its a micro korg. I have written half songs probably every other day, if not more. Which is saying alot because i never really have inspiration for music like that.
i am looking into buying either a loop pedal or a sampler, probably the sampler though.
Playing around with old beats on my Yamaha Porta sound and the micro korg really gets me wanting to make great, catchy dance tunes...
I also have been writing more acoustic music and i am looking to do a really neat EP called - The Story of Love EP ( check previous post). It should be great. i am workin
g on the art work for it this weekend.Look for my musical explosion in the next month or so. Its all coming together.
Upcoming event: My Bloody Valentines Day - I am playing, i have no idea what time and i am not even on the flyer HOWEVER, i will be playing two covers ( love songs) and a few of my own. Please come out - its at sound lab on Valentines Day.
Whoever brings me tulips will get a
surprise.Love,
Bernice
my new bunk bed
best idea ever...
good for sleeping, sleep overs and
when you want to change up your sleep patterns.
i would highly recommend it to anyone.
good for sleeping, sleep overs and
when you want to change up your sleep patterns.
i would highly recommend it to anyone.
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