why me, why us...

I dont want pity. But i have to say... why is this happening to me? Why to my sister and i who have surpassed the depression of having the most terrible living situations to being successful and now we find this out?
In twenty years from now, i could not be the same. Im stricken with the 50 percent chance that my brain has to many chromosomes and that it will one day take away rhythym and movement from my body. That one day if i am lucky to not have it, i may still have to watch my sister loose her abilities. Or that one day we may both be in need of assistance because we have lost our abilities to think striaght.
Huntingtons Disease will claim more than haf my uncles and my mother. It may take its toll on lynne and i and even worse, more of my family.
We have just been through so much... My life has always been a hurdle, im tired of jumping. I thought i got through it all and now i am faced with another worry, another life changing event that i cannot control.
Lynne and I have pushed through, beating the odds... and now this?

I dont want pity, i dont want sadness. I just want to be okay. I just want Lynne to be okay.

Getting tested is an option to figure it all out. but than it opens another can of worms. You now have to face it if you are going to die from this disease or live and die some other way. 30,000 people in the US have this and more each year. There is hope for a cure but nothing as of yet.
Do we wait? Do we test?
Can i live and be successful with the results?

So many things to think about. I cant believe i am posting this on blogspot but i have to speak up, i have to figure things out and writing has kept me strong throughout the years.

To anyone who reads this- i hope you can appreciate how great being alive and healty is. Please do. Being alive is something i have loved everyday of my entire life. I feel like i am alone with the love, but maybe i am not.